by Betsy Jones
Motherhood has taught me not only the importance of female friendships, but what exactly those mean. As a mom it can be so helpful to bounce ideas off of one another and finding a safe place to do that is crucial. I’m the first to prefer being alone, but there is a difference between liking to be alone and avoiding friendships because of your own insecurities.
“That’s what moms are wearing now.”
“That’s what kids are wearing now.”
“That’s the parenting trend going around.”
“That’s how other moms do it.”
These statements are justifications for comparison. MINT stands for Motherhood In New Terms. That doesn’t mean “doing what other moms are doing” and following any sort of trend…it means paving your own way. Searching within to define your own terms and most importantly, to let go of expectations.
It’s easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing and talking about. And we don’t do it in any sort of cowardly way. In my opinion, we’re all just trying to relate. But what if you went against the grain and disagreed? Gave your own perspective? What would it do for the other moms? Maybe help us all gain a sense of confidence and diversity.
Here are some tips for finding mom-friends:
1. Don’t be picky, be yourself
If you don’t know who that is yet (and I mean TRULY know), start there. I’ve got a gal named Jess that we spoke with on our podcast that helped me figure that one out. How can you show what kind of friend you are if you don’t even know yourself?
2. Check out apps like “Peanut”
It’s like a dating app for moms and helps break the ice knowing that everyone there is looking for the same thing.
3. Reach out to local moms who interest you
Instead of scrolling through IG and thinking “wow that mom seems like she’s got it all together, I wish I could be just like her” flip your frame of mind to say “wow she looks like someone I’d really enjoy being around!” From there, be BRAVE and send a message. Tell her you’d love to do a park date sometime and try to make a plan. If it doesn’t work out the first few times, keep trying. We all know wrangling kids to show up somewhere is a challenge, but if you are “interested” it will be worth it. Guaranteed you’ll learn something, no matter what!
4. Most importantly, STOP giving AF
Stop focusing on what their kids are wearing vs. yours, or what they’re eating, or who talks better, or who has a better “mom outfit”. Instead, lead with kindness and be brave enough to be different. You never know, YOU might be the mom SHE’s looking up to.
You got this, Mama! If you are newly postpartum and looking for a group of women following a similar program, join our community! Head to the Programs page to check out our postpartum exercise program. You’ll get access to our Facebook group where you can chat with The MINT Mamas and other Moms like you!
Looking for similar content that you can listen to? Listen to The MINT Prjct where you get your podcasts or click here.
